What to do if it looks like your coachee isn't going to change?
26 Jun 2009
This will mainly depend on how far you and your coachee have progressed with your coaching discussions and on what may be holding the coachee back from taking any actions.
The underlying purpose of coaching is to help a person think differently, raise their awareness of any new possibilities and help them to take new actions to improve their situation and performance and to help them move towards independence and self-sufficiency in their job role.
It is unusual for a new coachee to immediately recognise all of the possibilities for them and to step out and take a series of brand new and effective actions or behaviouers after just one or two coaching sessions. It does take new coachees some time to become confident in the process and to trust the coach and themselves with this new thinking. So it may be a question of the coachee being new to the coaching process itself. So this is mainly about timing.
However if a coachee is not showing any inclination to do anything differently after 5 or 6 coaching sessions then there must be something else blocking their ability to act more effectively.
It may be that they are still not very aware of the potential new actions or behaviours open to them, or not very self-aware about their current state. If this is the case then it is your role as coach to find ways of opening up this awareness.
If they are self-aware and aware of the possibilities for them, then it may be more a question of their willingness to act or not.
If this is the case then by exploring with your coachee the reasons why they are not ready to act is key. Is it because there are specific barriers preventing the coachee taking action that need to be discussed, put in context and overcome in some way first?
Is it that they were happy to describe the issues and their plans and feel better about things having talked it through and got it "off their chest" but that they have no intention of changing their behaviours, attitudes or approach -in which case it may be of help to them if you can get them to visualise the impact and outcome of them acting or not acting on this situation.
It could be that they are not undergoing these coaching sessions for their own learning and performance development but are doing so to please their manager or sponsor or just to go along with the Organisations agenda.
If none of these states seem to exist and apply to your coachee and you have tried your best over a period of time and a number of coaching sessions but they are still not prepared to change then it is then time for you to change as the coach. You should bring this coaching relationship to an honest close and to move on to the next coachee who is keen and willing to receive your support.
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