Management Development - Crucial Conversations

29 Oct 2010

At some point during a working career, everyone ends up having a crucial conversation. A crucial conversation is one where there is a variety of opinions on the same subject, where the stakes are high, and where emotions are running strongly. The conversation may be challenging, frustrating, frightening or annoying, but what defines it as crucial is the long term impact that it may have on your life. For example, if you feel you are ready for a promotion but your boss does not, there is a variety of opinion between the two of you, the stakes are high because it is important to you, and your emotions are likely to be running high for a similar reason. On top of that, being promoted or not has an impact not just on your life, but on the running of the business you work in, and on the colleagues around you. For a conversation that on the surface seems relatively small if a little contentious, it has a far reaching impact, no matter what the end result.

Human nature is to run away from tough situations. We are good at being ostriches, and “burying our heads in the sand” rather than having a difficult conversation. Breaking bad or difficult news to an employee is something that Managers are called on to do from time to time, but most of us are masters at avoiding this kind of difficult conversation, or even worse, at handling it badly when we do attempt it.

Here are some tips on how to tackle a crucial conversation head on and deal with it effectively, instead of running away or getting it wrong :


1. Be prepared
Make sure you have all the up to date information before you go into the meeting. This could be very useful if the person has questions or concerns.

2. Use a private area
Many times delivering difficult news can cause people to display strong emotions. It is important to preserve their dignity during and after the meeting.

3. Start by listening
Start by asking a few open-ended questions which allows you to build rapport. Use paraphrasing and empathy which demonstrates you are actively listening.

4. Explore perception
Ask the person about their perception of the problem. How do they think they are performing? Further explore their answers.

5. Define reality
Be open and honest when delivering the bad news. Use language that reflects how the person perceives the problem and also use empathetic statements that show you understand how they are feeling.

6. Offer to help
If you can help the person’s situation in any way, offer this help. This may help the person move on and may soften the blow.


Communicating difficult news is never easy, but the structure above can make the meeting go smoother. By practicing this structure in a training environment managers can become more familiar and more comfortable in delivering difficult news.

Management Training and Development can help your managers to handle a variety of situations in a more productive way. For more information on our Management Development and Training services, please visit our website at www.developingpeople.co.uk, or contact Developing People Limited by email or by telephone on 0845 409 2346.